You Know You Need A New Lawyer When............

You Know You Need A New Lawyer When:

• The prosecutor sees your lawyer in the hall, and they high-five each other.
• During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.
• He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."
• He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."
• During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.
• Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot.
• He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.
• Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.
• Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."
• He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."
• He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra.
• He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said..."