I've Been Telling People Try to Stay out of The Hospital!!

The following are actual medical records [supposedly] taken from patients' actual medical charts...

-- The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

-- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

-- The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

-- She is numb from her toes down.

-- While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

-- The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

-- Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

-- Patient was alert and unresponsive.

-- When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.